Fragments of Light


A/N: This focuses heavily on depression and what it feels like to suffer from it. Please proceed with caution if you’re tirggered by that sort of thing. - DeanCas AU, 1,500k. 

Castiel is sad. No reason really, he just is. It’s the type of sad that has the sky looking grey even on the sunniest days; the kind that causes the world around him to just kind of… melt.

There used to be color in Castiel’s life and while he can’t pinpoint exactly when everything became grey scale, faded like an old movie ticket, it happened all the same and it hasn’t abated for years.

Some days are better than others; some days he can smile and mean it, or hear the sounds of the world around him, experience things and feel them, but those days aren’t always frequent enough to get him through the days that aren’t so good.

When he told his brother about the feeling, he was handed a stack of self-help books and offered a sympathetic smile. When he confessed to his mother he was told, “It’s just a phase. Go outside, Castiel. Get some fresh air.”

Their lack of concern probably should have made him feel worse, but his chest was already too full of fog for his heart to really notice.

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Fluffy kid!Destiel, written for deangirlonthemove who was feeling a bit down yesterday, and needed some cheering up. 

Remember chica: Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate, refrigerators gonna refrigerate. You’re awesome and anons are cowards, sending you big hugs! 

The best way to spend summer break was at the playground across the street, or so Dean thought. He knew nearly every kid in the neighborhood, and with most of his friends living in the same street, hanging out there was always fun. Jo, Benny, Charlie, Andy… There was always someone for Dean to play with.

Often Molly, the huge tabby cat that belonged to Dean’s neighbor Mrs. Moseley, joined them as well. Dean suspected that she mostly stuck around for the snacks that Dean’s mother Mary and Jo’s mother Ellen often handed out at the playground throughout the day, but the fluffy ball of fur was good company nonetheless.  

“I’m going outside, mom.” Dean called over his shoulder as he opened the backdoor.

“Alright sweetheart, be careful when crossing the street.” Mary called back from the kitchen.

Dean rolled his eyes as he stepped outside. “Come on, mom, I’m nearly ten years old.” He mumbled when he was sure she could no longer hear him.

It was a bright, sunny day, and Dean whistled a random tune as he crossed the street, aiming for the playground. However, he froze in his tracks when he noticed the three bulky boys that were hovering beside the swings.

“Ugh, just great… Them again.” Dean muttered sarcastically under his breath, already taking a step backwards.

It was Alastair, and with him were two of his friends. Dean knew that one of them was named Gordon, but he wasn’t sure about the other one; for the most part, he tried to stay far away from the group of bullies that every now and then terrorized the playground. All the other kids were smart enough to do the same, which explained why the playground was pretty much deserted at the moment.

Dean huffed disappointedly, about to turn on his heels and go back home, when he noticed that someone whom he didn’t recognize was with the group of tormenters…

It was difficult to see from where Dean was standing, but it was a boy about Dean’s age who was sitting on one of the swings, looking up with wide terrified eyes as the three boys towered over him. The boys were circling around him like a couple of vultures, and Dean was certain that their intentions were less than noble.

“Now what…” Dean uttered under his breath.

As tempting as it was to simply turn around and flee, deep down, Dean knew that it would be the cowardly thing to do. Dean Winchester was not a coward, but to go up against no less than three other kids… He deliberated. To go back home or to stay and help the boy?

Dean got distracted when he felt something brush against his ankles. It was followed by a soft mewling sound. He glanced down, shaking his head at Molly who had popped up and was persistently rubbing her head against Dean’s legs.

“Shh Molly, if they see us, we’re toast.” He hissed quietly.

Molly’s green eyes blinked up at Dean once, twice, as if sending him a message.

Dean sighed and rubbed his face.

“Okay okay, you win, I’m going.” He groaned, throwing up his hands.

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#i love how ten or eleven would have babbled on in increasingly whimsical explanations before finally admitting they didn’t have a clue #if they ever admitted it at all they would admit it in a way that made it abundantly clear #they were still brilliant and wonderful and knew far more about the universe than anyone else could possibly #and nine is just like #nope #ain’t got shit #isn’t it gr999999 #and rose is just all up in there trying to get as much information about the situation as possible #i think the thing i love about them most is that they don’t feel the need to prove themselves to each other? #there’s a very natural and careless easy grace between them #love #it’s called love (via okayophelia)